Hogwarts interviews
by ski-up-and-go
Summary: basically what the title says Rita Skeeter is with the Daily Prophet trying to get interviews with Harry Potter and his friends, and enemies, at Hogwarts. i think its funny so its a humour. rated t
1. Interview with Harry Potter

Hogwarts pupils interviews by Rita Skeeter

AN: I should really be thanking Shape-Shifter1094 because they gave me the idea for this fic and its my first one. Sorry though Shape-Shifte1049 if I've ruined any future plans. This is all set just after the battle at Hogwarts or at the end of the deathly hallows. By the way this is wrote in script form.

Please make the reviews nice. Thanks.

Rated T for language but could be changed.

x Ski x

Disclaimer: I DON NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! If I did Umbridge would have a scarier name!

Interview with Harry Potter 

_Harry and Rita are sitting in an empty classroom. Rita is sitting with her quick quotes quill and notepad while Harry is trying to figure out an escape route from the very secure classroom. _

Rita: today I am interviewing Harry Potter himself. Now, Harry, everyone is desperate to find out the truth about your life, could you possibly tell us about any events or any facts that need to be told truthfully?

Harry: The only comments I have for you are not suitable to be published.

Rita: Yes, well, right now I'm giving you the chance to tell the Wizarding world the truth. So are you going to cooperate?

Harry: Just to let you and your quill twist it all. Don't think so!

Rita: (looking slightly pink) would I do such a thing. Harry, why don't you tell us about Voldemort's death? Or maybe an even older story, how about you tell us the story of Dumbledore's death? They are both famous, and infamous, deaths and you were there to witness both.

Harry: yes well noticed, great work detective. But there's one problem, what will you give me in return?

Rita: (looking sheepish and smiling) a friendly smile and very good publicity.

Harry: Erm… no deal. Its not what I want.

Rita: What about gold? I can pay thousands.

Harry: Nah, I have plenty already.

Rita: Well what do you want?

Harry: For you to piss off and leave me and my friends alone.

Rita: No chance, you're the biggest gossip topic in the Wizarding world and you expect me to leave you alone? No

Harry: Well I just won't give you an interview worth reading. You won't have any readers then will you. Ha!

Rita: Alright let me do a couple of interviews and then I'll leave you for good (she says with her fingers crossed behind her back)

Harry: Yeah, whatever. Like I'm going to believe that.

Rita: Ok, well I'm a reporter, a good one at that. So I never leave anyone alone.

Harry: well that first bit's a lie you're a crap reporter but the second bit is a little obvious. You've been following me since I was 14, I'm now 17.

Rita: okay, okay no need to be cocky. Shall we get started with our interview then.

Harry: (smirking) yes let's.

Rita: are you in a relationship?

Harry: yes actually.

Rita: well there you are, girls. The heart melter is now taken.

Harry: Yeah. I'm a heartbreaker.

Rita: Yes quite, so who's the lucky lady?

Harry: Can't say.

Rita: Why's that then? Is it because you've just made it all up, to stop girls bugging you?

Harry: No. she just doesn't want to be famous because of me, she wants to be famous because of herself.

Rita: so do you have anything else you want to say because I have realised I'm not going to get anything out of you.

Harry: you've finally figured it out. Took you long enough.

Rita: oh whatever, just get out of here.

Harry: finally.

_Harry and Rita both exit. Harry is just glad he got his way and Rita is trying to plot a plan for revenge. _

AN: hope everyone enjoyed that. I'm not putting another chapter up till I get 3+ reviews. I don't care if just one person sends me reviews just someone press the magic button for me.

Thanks

X Ski x


	2. Interview with Ronald Weasley

**Interview with Ronald Weasley **

_**A/N: Thanks for all your reviews I've tried to make this as good as the first chapter. Enjoy.**_

_**X ski x **_

_**Disclaimer : I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! IF I DID RITA SKEETER WOULD BE BITHCHIER!**_

Rita: today I am interviewing Harry Potter's best friend Ronald Weasley. Now Ronald…

Ron: please just call me Ron.

Rita: yeah whatever. How do you feel about your best friend being Harry Potter?

Ron: its just like having anyone as a best mate apart from people randomly come up to him and shake his hand or other random stuff.

Rita: can Harry be up his own arse sometimes like a lot of celebrities?

Ron: how dare you say that Harry is up his own arse. He hates all the fuss he gets, he just wants an ordinary life like everyone else.

Rita: well a lot of young celebrities can be a bit fussy, quite a lot like myself, I have to admit.

Ron: you young? I thought you was just pulled out the dinosaur era, my bad.

Rita: I was on about the fussiness and celebrity more thanks very much.

Ron: you're a celebrity? What got you famous?

Rita: I'm famous for my talented and truthful writing.

Ron: talented & truthful? In your dreams love.

Rita: you know what, I have found some really nice students in this school…

Ron: what like Draco Malfoy and his Slytherin freaks.

Rita: … but you are the most rude, and Draco Malfoy is absolutely wonderful. He always knows the gossip.

Ron: more like his lies.

Rita: have you and Harry plotted this?

Ron: (smirking) plotted what my dear?

Rita: Plotted to slag me off and treat me like a fool.

Ron: oh my golly god. (Shouts to Harry.) HARRY SHE HAS SOME INTELLIGENCE.

Harry: (poking his head round the door) what she's finally realised she's a fool?

Ron: yeah and our obvious, not-so-secret plot.

Harry: oh bugger we'll have to think of another not-so-secret obvious plot.

Rita: Harry, piss off and Ron stop being a twat.

Ron: you know you might as well let me go because I'm going to keep being a twat until you do let me go.

Rita: fine get lost.

Ron: do you know that is the smartest thing you've said all day.

Rita: (smacks Ron round the head) watch your mouth, Weasley.

Ron: (runs out screaming) CHILD ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE!

Rita: oh, shit!

_**A/N : hope that was as good as the first. I tried, I really tried. 3+ reviews or 2 days and the next chapter will magically appear!**_

_**X ski X **_


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